Jubilee Backstage Tour

The Glamour Kittens met at Ballys this morning to be taken backstage at the Don Arden / Bob Mackie vintage showgirl spectacular "Jubilee".

The squealing at the photo op outside the Jubilee Theatre was so spectacular that our personal showgirl Miss Paula came outside in her spangled leotard to join in the fracas = GOLD!

Miss Paula seems ever so slightly mentally and emotionally unbalanced, and at the start of the tour weeps several times at her own inspirational story of becoming a topless dancer in Vegas.

Then comes a bizarre list of all those close to her who have seen her dance topless ... "my mom and dad have seen me topless, my girlfriends, grandma, all my uncles, my boyfriend comes every few weeks, his workmates have seen me dance topless - but not my brothers ... that would be tooooo kreepy" I then realise all of us will see miss paula with her top off this evening - awkward ...

The tour is FABULOUS and although photography is allegedly prohibited, and some areas are allegedly out of bounds, the glamour kittens go crazy, photographing everything, entering all areas, and sifting through other people's crystal encrusted g-strings and fishnets.

The backstage area is the campest thing EVER and the cameras go crazy in the dressing rooms, the feather room, and the disco closet.


In the feather room Miss Paula starts our showgirl lessons which cover everything from how to mend fishnets, to walking glamorously down stairs in heels without looking down,(her method is GENIUS and does work) and how to walk to the side whilst always facing the front - it is all SUPERB.

And then she veers off into more inspirational stories about herself - how she has covered her castmates asses so many times, helped them quick change in the wings when they're too slow, or gone on for them when they're not ready in time , and she is always offering advice to those less experienced and less talented than she is - but are they grateful - or would any one of them ever do the same for her ??? NO! No, they wouldn't !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(cut to nervous glamour kittens with eyes darting and feet shifting as miss paula seems to have forgoten we are in the room and a little bead of sweat has formed above her lip)

Then come the SOLID GOLD stories of accidentally walking on stage at the G-rated matinee with her top off ("fluff was furious" - have I mentioned the 89 year old director of "Jubilee" is named FLUFF LeCOQUE ), and how she resolved the issue of the dressing table HOG whose stuff was always on her side of the table - (apparently you throw all her stuff in the bin, and then put masking tape down the middle of the table - and would you believe - after that incident - miss paula and miss dressing table hog are now BEST FRIENDS)

As the tour comes to a close Miss Paula gives us a fabulous showbiz makeup lesson, changes into an amazing costume and we all file onto the stage for more photo ops.As I glance at my watch i realise the inspirational stories have lead our tour to run 40minutes overtime. We all file out of the theatre as Miss Paula proclaims us her best group EVER - I believe she was still talking as we hit las vegas boulevard and the relative sanity of the strip.